get ready, it's a new day

"i never knew. i never knew that everything was falling through. that everyone i knew was waiting on a cue to turn and run when all i needed was the truth, but that’s how it’s gotta be. it’s comin down to nothin more than apathy. i’d rather run the other way than stay and see the smoke and whose still standing it when it clears."
— 3 years ago
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."
— 3 years ago with 1 note
"Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever"
— 3 years ago
day14- someone you’ve drifted away from

dear kelsie,

over the course of the past 4 years we have drifted apart. preschool through 3rd grade, we were inseparable. neither of us would talk to anyone besides each other. we were at each others houses almost everyday. we did everything together and we weren’t happy any other way. but as we got older, we met more people and started branching out, which is probably a good thing. more recently, we have made friends that are very different from one another’s. but don’t get me wrong, i still love everything about you, we still get along and have fun together, and your still one of my best friends. we’ve both just greatly changed and gone in separate directions. but don’t worry, it won’t matter how much we grow and change, who may cross our paths, or how much time we spend apart. i will always know where to find you, i’ll always know you’ll be there for me, and i’ll always know you’re my best friend.

love always,

natalie

— 3 years ago
day13- someone you wish would forgive you

there’s no one that i know of that’s mad at me for something i did. i haven’t done anything wrong to anyone that they would need to forgive me for. if so, i’ve already apologized for it or just let go of that person altogether.

— 4 years ago
day12- the person that’s caused you the most pain.

dear blank,

although it’s been almost a year, and everything is finally settling down, i will never forgive or forget everything that you caused me to go through. i see it more as me letting go, doing what’s best for me, and moving on with my life. im a stubborn person as is, so i wouldn’t know where to begin on why when or how to forgive you. after you betrayed me more than once and completely lost all of my respect, i promised myself to never forget how it felt. this way, if i was ever put in the same kind of situation but with your perspective, i could never possibly think of doing what you did because i now know how much it hurts. no one should ever have to go through what you put me through. i still don’t think you understand, actually, i know you don’t understand how much you hurt me. i have so many questions. how could you do that to your best friend? how could be so self-centered and selfish to only care about you being happy and you being okay? how does it feel to finally have what you wanted? was it worth it? do you understand how much your actions effected my whole year and completely changed my life and changed me as a person? i could be rude, i could hate you, i could try to ruin your life and relationship. but in the end, that wouldn’t solve anything. holding grudges, wallowing in my own sadness, and being angry is wasting time and i’ve already done enough of that. i’ve realized that in this situation, i have to step up and be the better person and that has taught me a lot. believe it or not, i’ve learned and observed plenty of valuable lessons and facts from you. one of the most important being you as an example of the exact person i never want to become. it’s confusing and strange for me to think about how we used to best friends. we used to do everything together, love everything about each other, and have so much fun together. now, i wouldn’t even know how to talk to you or what to expect. i don’t know who you are anymore. times have changed, and so have you and now i would never want to be anything close to your friend. acquaintances sounds good to me.

sincerely,

natalie

— 4 years ago
day10- someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

dear joshua,

i miss you, your stories, your advice, your laugh, your jokes, your sarcasm, your care, your calls, and all the things in between. i wish were as close as we used to be. when you would come sit next to me everyday and give me hugs in the hallway. when you would be the first person i would call when something was wrong. your still the only person who can make me laugh on my very worst days. we used to tell each other everything. now, i feel like as much as we try, we will never be as close as we once were. it’s funny how you realize how much you really need or appreciate or enjoy someone or something once they start drifting away. just getting to talk to you or see you means so much more to me now than it did a year ago. i hope we stay best friends though. your an amazing person inside and out and i consider myself lucky to have you. i will do anything for us to keep it this way.

love always always always,

natalie

— 4 years ago
"FEARLESS’ is not the absense of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want all over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for someone, even though he’s in love with someone else. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them.And when someone apologizes to you enough times for the things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say "you’re NOT sorry," and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright, that’s FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe that everything happens for a reason, everything will be okay, and you have to believe in yourself. you have to be FEARLESS."
— 4 years ago with 1 note
day7- your ex-boyfriend/love/crush

dear blank,

i hope your doing well right now. i hope whatever is going on in your life is exactly how you want it to be. i hope your happy, i always have and always will. for almost a year, you were part of my everyday life. i would talk to you or see you or think of you at least once everyday. i knew we had something the first time we ever talked and you knew that too. we could tell each other anything and everything. we have been through so much together. there were a lot of bad times, but there were a lot of good, just the same. there were times when we were so obsessed with each other we couldn’t go more than 2 hours without communicating. times when we would stay up way too late on the phone just to hang up and then have to call each other right back. times when seeing you was the only reason i would get up and go to school everyday. where it was so forbidden and terrible that we liked each other but we still did anyway. but things changed and got a lot more complicated and somehow we ended up here. there were moments when we would scream at each other for hours just because we were so frustrated with everything else that we took it all out on each other. no matter how many fights we got in we both knew it would always be okay and somehow we would just bring us closer in the end. i trusted you with everything but either way, you always let me down. i was stupid for overlooking all those times that i just brushed it off and said it was okay. i never broke one of your promises, told one of your secrets, or lied to you in any type of way. i deserved that from you, but i still haven’t gotten it to this day. i waited so long for you. i figured if we had been through this much so far, we could get through this too and we would end up back together again. i don’t know why i believed you when you told me we would have something in the future. i think i wanted it so badly, that hearing that from you was the easiest way to make me feel a little bit better. i wasted so much of my time on you just to come out of it with 5 less friends, a lot less trust, and a broken heart. when the only thing i wanted was you. but something that may surprise you is that i don’t regret one second of it. our situation taught me so many lessons that i know i will use somewhere along the lines of the rest of my life. as you can see, im already realizing things now that i was oblivious to when all of this was still going on. but even though i went through a lot, i don’t have any type of hate towards you. i still think your an amazing person. for what you’ve gone through and go through everyday, i have so much respect for that fact that you can wake up every morning with a smile on your face. you deserve so much better than what you have. you have the most perseverance, the most intelligence, and the biggest heart than anyone i have ever met. and i hate that this amazing person i once was so close with, is no longer a part of my life in any way. i wish things didn’t have to be like this. i wish we could rewind to this time a year ago. i wish i could talk to you and tell you things. i wish you could give me advice and tell me that “everything will be okay”. i wish we could be friends. but i know that none of that can or will ever happen again and that sitting here wishing won’t get me anywhere. so im moving on. im finally over you and everything we had and i hope you are too. so last but not least, i wish you the best, and i hope your making someone as happy as you once made me.

sincerely,

natalie

— 4 years ago
day6- a stranger

dear stranger,

im looking forward to meeting you. 

sincerely,

natalie

— 4 years ago